Operation D-List Storm

I'm traveling today to California on vitally important TV-critic business. That means I've been spending time on research, such as studying up on the new Transportation Security Administration rules to see if they allow me to bring an In-N-Out burger on a plane as a carry-on for the return trip. Don't you judge me.

So I haven't taken the time to review Armed and Famous, the CBS reality show in which low-tier celebs such as Erik Estrada, Jack Osbourne and LaToya Jackson go on petty drug busts with the Muncie, Indiana police department. Suffice it to say it's not as bad as you think: it is actually slightly worse--not just exploitative and dumb, but with cheesy production values. Worst of all are the attempts to rationalize the show with little moments of moralism; I'm sorry, but I don't need the little person from Jackass telling me that driving intoxicated is irresponsible. I'm pretty sure so is getting overturned in a port-a-potty.

Anyway, I do need to note that the show debuts just before President Bush's speech making the case for the troop "surge" in Iraq. Which gets me thinking... d-list celebs doing law enforcement in Indiana... the Bush administration trying to provide security in Baghdad... has no reality producer out there put two and two together?

What America needs, now, is a reality show in which has-been celebs get shipped off to Iraq to put down the insurgency. It would give them a chance to serve their country--or someone's country, anyway--while testing the proposition that minor celebs will do anything for another chance to get on TV. And I hear The Nuge is a great shot.