JPTV: What I'm Watching Tonight

For starters, it gots to be Survivor: Fiji, which by the standards of the previous few seasons has been Stealth Survivor. I've seen little publicity for this edition, other than the free PR generated by the unfortunately-timed coup in the host country. Still, I return, even though the show has gotten less and less hip over the years. Someday, my grandchildren will make fun of my old-fashioned tastes as I sit in my rocking chair, watching Survivor: Greenland (the island will by then be a lush tropical getaway) and telling boring stories of what a fine entertainer Jeff Probst was all those years ago, before he got elected President.

In related news, I watched The View this morning--I am that much of a girl--and Elisabeth Hasselbeck talked with reality-TV uberfan Rosie O'Donnell about the Survivor boff as fashion accessory. "You start off with this buff, you wear them on your heads," Hasselbeck said, "and pretty soon, you're down 30 pounds because you're starving to death, and they just slip right down, like a gown." I knew Barbara Walters hired her for a reason.