Cramming 30 Seconds of Comedy into a Half Hour

The cable news networks should stick to the brand of humor they know best: unintentional.

So if this Joel Surnow is idealogue and he produces 24 does leand credence to the 24 has neo-con agenda arguement?

The way I see it:

1. We've known for some years Surnow is a Republican

2. A lot of politically committed liberals (they have a few in Hollywood) are capable of creating entertainments without a liberal agenda; the same goes for conservatives

3. The proof is in the pudding, and for reasons of dramatic tension 24 reverses course and contradicts itself too much to have a conservative agenda. If it had any consistent agenda, the drama would just be too predictable.

That said, Surnow shouldn't quit his day job. His other day job, that is.

How can the FOX pundits keep bad mouthing the other cable news channels when they waste so much time on entertainment over news? War Stories with Ollie North? Shouldn't that be on the History Channel? The 1/2 Hour News Hour? Geez, the Daily Show is on Comedy Central....not CNN. Buy a vowel or get a frickin' clue FOX! The "fair and balanced" are letting their ideological slip show beneath their skirt hem.

Having problems dissecting Clinton Spiel from Obama Camp from Edwards Prattle from Cronkite Croaking? Here's some help...

Anti-War: Anti-victory, anti-military (particularly the United States military), anti-democracy, anti-Israel, anti-female education, anti-actual employment, anti-human marriage, anti-pay back your overdue college loan Bruce, anti-shoes, anti-baseline personal hygiene. Not to be confused with true peace and actual justice, at any moment in human history.

Bigot: Any person that freely attends the church or temple of their choice.

Blogger: If with former Senator Skimmy Edwards campaign? See BIGOT, above.

BLT: Bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich (may optionally use mutton for bacon, with similar results). Properly applied to lightly toasted sourdough bread with mayo, it is widely believed to be heaven on earth. May be the key to world peace, if not your own flame-throwing DNC political hack Global Gutter. See EGG SALAD on wheat, as an acceptable substitute if no sacrilegious celery is used.

Diversity: More than one narcissistic Mommy or Daddy living in the same household. Also see MARIN COUNTY.

Halfbright: Maddie (also see CRATER, JIM BOB).

Hate speech: See DEAN, HOWARD.

Homophobia: Safe, effective, politically incorrect antidote for heterophobia.

Justice: Getting back to your Seattle luxury condo from the Earth 1st Soup & Salad MeetUp in time for the 4 o'clock CW re-run of Will & Grace.

Mother Jones: Never heard of him.

NOW: Flailing, fictional PBS series that affords PBS staffers the publicly funded PBS monies to pay the private PBS re-hab bills for their adult PBS stoner kids.

Oral sex: Purely redundant Blue State massage obligation for post-graduate, pre-law license revocation studies.

Oscar ceremony: When some guy named Oscar has a ceremony.

Peace: Use of a special prosecutor or Human Lefts Watch lawyer to harass working Republicans.

Penis: Allah's worst invention, after the vagina.

Petra Kelly: Last known leftist to hold an actual day job. Also see FRANCO, FRANCISCO and GERMANY, FORMER EAST for similar political results.

Pinprick: Lowest common legal denominator for stellar 4-month liberal war hero's GET ME HOME NOW, DADDY medal qualifiers.

Sven Ifill Tower Records: Tall, empty, soul-less shell of a fading leftist archival media lieberry found in Paris, France, with a rather unreasonable facsimile version in Washington, DC. Publicly funded, less speaking fees.

Ugly Truth: See GEFFEN, DAVID.

Unilateral Surrender: Core DNA sample results from most American liberals of post-Truman appeasement era (also see KENNEDY, FONDA, HAYDEN, MCGOVERN, CASTRO, CHAVEZ, LETTERMAN, LENO, UNCLE HO for related details before purchase).

More here soon!

WTF...?