Lostwatch: Jack's on Vacation, and So Am I

The shaggy dog element of "Lost" is finally catching up with the show as viewers continue to desert the program.

"Heroes" has shown that if you actually have a creative thought, you don't have to take three steps backward before taking one forward. One gets the feeling the "Lost" writers are terrified of having to advance the tale, because they themselves don't have a clue as to where they're going with it all.

They could have gone with a straightforward Swiss Family Robinson if anyone in the production had a creative bone in their body. Pirates, tsunamis, disease, Lord-of-the-Flies social instabilty...the possibilities are endless. Instead we get South Pacific Polar bears, smoky wisps in the jungle, yadda-yadda-yadda.

Instead, it is endless flashback after endless flashback, because no one can figure out how to advance a plot while stranded on an island.

And the webnuts eat it up, wondering the likes of whatever happened to Walt, with conspiracy theories that would scare Oliver Stone. In reality, it's only that the kid who played Walt got homesick for L.A., got tired of living in Hawaii, and had his agent write him out.

But, don't tell the fans. I'm sure there are 12 future hours of flashbacks of Walt as a little boy, Walt as a toddler, Walt as an embryo, that need to be explored before we can get around to crafting a reason why Walt is now gone.

Per your request, I put a quarter in my computer and it started smoking. Boy is my boss going to be hacked off what with all the sprinklers going off. When do I get the premium stuff?

filmex.......yet you continue to watch, eh?

I watch because I'm a big fan of Emilie de Raven going back to her work on "Roswell", "The Handler" and playing the Nancy Allen role in the remake of "Carrie".

I watch as a fan of Elizabeth Mitchell from when she was on "Significant Others", "The Lyon's Den" and "er".

I watch as a fan of Kiele Sanchez from her time on "That Was Then" and "Related".

And I watch because with my Tivo, I can scan through the flashbacks and generally watch an episode in about 18 minutes.

But, trust me, should Juliet, Claire or Nikki all be vanquished by a black wisp of smoke, or my Tivo ever crash and burn, I'll be a former viewer.

Comparisons to "Heroes" are irrelevant. Lost is in its third year; Heroes is in its first. In Lost's first season, nobody was complaining about the pace either. Too, Lost is telling a multi-year story with an endpoint (episode number) yet to be determined. Heroes will, according to the creator, wrap up the current storylines this season. The scale is entirely different.

Yeah, I'm sure the writers on Heroes have a better handle on where their show is going than the writers on Lost....you know, the same writers who introduce a gay character (Zack) only to bow to the pressures of the kid's agents and suddenly make him straight. Or continue to write the interminable Mohinder voice over speeches whenever they get bored. Or have Sylar basically break out by having that one girl kill herself, but then start the next episode with him still imprisoned without offering any explanation how that happened. Or waste an entire episode for Hiro, having him inexplicably meet with his father in an abandoned warehouse, only to rightfully inform dad that his sister could run the business. Or write anything involving Nikki...

I could go on. Lost is clearly thought out and mapped out (watch the Season 1 making of feature, where they discuss their 6 season outline for the show) - yes, sometimes the narrative slows down to delve deep into backstory, but it's still the best written, most mysterious show on TV.

And don't ever insult the Lost writers by comparing them to the hacks on Heroes (hey, I watch Heroes, but I'm not gonna pretend its had 1% of the "WOW" moments that Lost had in its first, second, OR third seasons)

Everybody has their cup of tea, so to speak.

I find "Heroes" fun because its a graphic novel come to life, and has never pretended it's more than that.

Meanwhile, "Lost" is and remains an endurance contest. Like your "Heroes" list, I could leave you with a 30-paragraph diatribe on the nonsense that is "Lost". But, one simple moment tells you everything you need to know.

Hurley has eating issues, so when the big food cache is found, what should be a HUGE relief to people stranded on an island who mysteriously are never seen eating, Hurley gives all the food away at once so everyone can take part in one big food binge, all to placate HIS issues. And they grab the chips and peanut butter and have a big pig-out party.

Give me a frackin' break.

But, what do I know. Most every show I love has a ticking clock on it. I thought "Invasion" was the coolest, creepiest sci-fi show that's come along in some time.

And after having watched the pilot for "The Black Donnellys", I thought it was the most adult, best cinematic drama I've seen on television in years. It looked like Martin Scorcese made it. Because I'm that sure of how good it truly is, I remained equally convinced it may be gone faster than "Smith".