Dead Tree Alert: White-Collar Rock. Plus: A List!
Code Monkey meets WOW.
My Culture Complex column in the print TIME this week asks the musical question: why aren't there more pop songs about white-collar workers?
We have office sitcoms, office novels and office movies, but where are the office pop songs? Rock music has never lacked for zillionaires to romanticize farmhands and factory workers. But what of the John Henrys plowing sweatily through PowerPoint presentations? White-collar employees, who make up 60% of the workforce, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, are largely absent from pop lyrics, except for novelty songs and minor works. (The Bangles' Manic Monday mainly proves that the songwriter Prince is more convincing on the subject of sex than commuting.) As far as songwriters are concerned, the Dilberts of the world can buy their MP3s, but they can't have noble souls and inner lives.
There are exceptions besides the few I mention in the column, of course, and I spent a lot of time thinking about them as I wrote this. Herewith, just to piss off Lev Grossman, is my list of 10 notable white-collar pop songs:
1. Bright Future in Sales, Fountains of Wayne. Really, the whole column was an excuse to write about FOW and their new album. I could have composed a list of nothing but FOW office songs--Little Red Light, Hey Julie, etc., etc.--but I picked this one because it rocks the most. The self-destructive frat-boy narrator--"Seven scotch-and-sodas at the office party/ Now I don't remember where I'm from"--was Andy Bernard before Ed Helms was.
2. Fred Jones, Pt. 2, Ben Folds. Rarely for a pop office song, this ballad treats its subject, laid off after 25 years on the job, as a tragic figure, with dignity and a smidge of pathos. The chorus is delivered by the young guard waiting awkwardly to escort him out: "And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones/ It's time."
3. 9 to 5, Dolly Parton. Just to be clear, I'm purposely leaving out Sheena Easton's "Morning Train (9 to 5)," also from 1981. Waiting for your baby to come home from work doesn't count.
4. Paper and Iron (Notes and Coins), XTC. I thought there must be more XTC office songs out there; Earn Enough for Us, though, could be about any job.
5. Code Monkey, Jonathan Coulton. The other excuse for writing the article was to interview Coulton, who although I didn't know it beforehand lives about ten blocks from me. An intrepid YouTuber, Mike Spiff Booth, made a video entirely from World of Warcraft images (also embedded above). Coulton's zombie tune Re: Your Brains counts too, though it stretches the joke a little too long.
6. Koka-Kola, The Clash. Advertising, party girls and blow. Need I say more?
7. Put Your Hand Inside the Puppet Head, They Might Be Giants. This time it's advertising and car washes, so maybe this counts as only half a white-collar rock song. The other half might be Someone Keeps Moving My Chair.
8. Step Into My Office, Baby, Belle and Sebastian. This probably falls more into the category of office as metaphor. But a very cool and dirty metaphor, so I'm keeping it.
9. Frankly, Mr. Shankly, The Smiths. There's no overt reference to the type of work here, so how do I know this is a white-collar song? Reason: like Morrissey would have lasted five minutes doing construction.
10. Synchronicity II, The Police. "And every single meeting with his so-called superior/ Is a humiliating kick in the crotch." (See Sting hang from scaffolding in the video.) Sting, once a teacher, also wrote Don't Stand So Close to Me, although that was rather more about extracurricular activities.
So you have my list (and a fairly good idea of how I was spending my time in the '80s). But I'm sure I missed some low-hanging fruit out there. (Taking Care of Business and Manic Monday are in the column, BTW.) The Kinks, maybe? What have you got?
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1
"Employee of the Year", by the Solipsistics, is pretty great (chorus: "You're the employee of the year/And your parking space is close to the place that you fear")
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2
Talking Heads - Don't Worry About The Government
"Some civil servants are just like my loved ones, they work so hard and they try to be strong"
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3
@popomo: Dammit! You just reminded me -- Government Center, by the Modern Lovers. We're gonna make those secretaries feel better...
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4
Paul McCartney: "Another Day" and "Temporary Secretary."
R. B. Greaves: "Take a Letter, Maria"
And lest we forget "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying." Not rock, but an entire snarky musical about the workin' life.
Not sure they're office-related, but other workplace songs include:
"Work-a-day World" by The Beat (AKA "Paul Collins' Beat"
"Weekend" by Dave Edmunds
"Welcome to the Working Week" by Elvis Costello
"Working for the Weekend" by Loverboy
Among specific office occupations, there's "Headline Hustler" by 10cc ("I got me a job at a local paper, everybody there thinks I'm nice, but they'd better look twice.")
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5
If you count tech workers as white collars a good of Grandaddy's songs count. "The Group Who Couldn't Say" is about a sales team that gets a free trip to the woods.
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6
A Ray Stevens song from the 60s, "Mr. Businessman."
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7
oh for god's sake James: Smithers-Jones by The Jam
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8
"Love In An Elevator," Aerosmith - "I'll teach you how to fax in the mailroom, honey/and get you home by 5."
"Artists In Day Jobs," Otis Ball, although that's a little obscure and some of the jobs listed are blue-collar.
The Gin Blossoms' "Day Job" is about white-collar jobs, or at least ones that require a college degree, but it doesn't mention a specific one.
Stan Ridgway's "Salesman," and if you stretch it a little bit, "I Wanna Be A Boss."
Weird Al puts us into "novelty" category, but "Dog Eat Dog" is definitely an office song.
I'm sure there's a Barenaked Ladies song that fits, but I can't find it at the moment . . .
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9
(Antichrist Television Blues) -The Arcade Fire
"Don't wanna work in a building downtown
No, I don't wanna work in a building downtown" -
10
How did you miss a day in the life?
woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
And looking up I noticed I was late.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,
and Somebody spoke and I went into a dream -
11
Ooooh, and also Good Morning.
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12
Have to agree - Bright Future in Sales, Fountains of Wayne rocks and is a total classic (and sadly I can partially relate, having worked for a few years in sales in Manhattan)
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13
How about Working Man by Rush?
I get up at seven, yeah
And I go to work at nine
I got no time for livin
Yes, Im workin all the timeIt seems to me
I could live my life
A lot better than I think I am
I guess thats why they call me
They call me the workin manThey call me the workin man
I guess thats what I amI get home at five oclock
And I take myself out a nice, cold beer
Always seem to be wondrin
Why theres nothin goin down hereIt seems to me
I could live my life
A lot better than I think I am
I guess thats why they call me
They call me the workin man -
14
Bilingual by The Pet Shop Boys
They call this a community, I like to think of it as home
Arriving at the airport I am going it alone
Ordering a boarding pass
Travelling in business class
This is the name of the game
I'm single bilingual
Single bilingualI come to the community from U.K. p.l.c.
Arriving at my hotel there are faxes greeting me
Staying in a junior suite
So there's room to meet and greet
And after work explain how I feel
"Perdoneme, me llamo Neil"...
- poniewozik Loved the season. Mrs Tuned In wd have put u on the main list RT @boredtodeath Thank u for incl us in Time's Top 10. We'll take hon mention. - 3 hours ago
- poniewozik @carr2n Virgin is the best, LAX-JFK - 4 hours ago
- poniewozik Did NPR interview abt multiscreen multitasking. After, automatically reached for iPhone in pocket. Like don draper wd have for cigarettes. - 5 hours ago
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