A blog about television by TIME’s TV critic James Poniewozik.

Celebrity Apprentice: Everybody Is a Star

apprentice_celebs.jpg
NBC Photo: Justin Stephens

Question of the Day: Which reality show is more badly misnamed--Dancing with the Stars (a.k.a. "Dancing with Where the Hell Is She From Again?") or The Celebrity Apprentice?

The list of Donald Trump's, ahem, celebrities--whose show debuts January 3--was released today, and is herewith reproduced and annotated:

Trace Adkins: I'll give them this one, only because I may not be country enough to recognize him.

Carol Alt: Most famous person named for a key on your computer keyboard. [Update: Sorry, that would actually be Tab Hunter.]

Stephen Baldwin: A.k.a., "No, not that Baldwin. No, not that one either."

Nadia Comaneci: Pro: You have heard of her. Con: You cannot spell her name.

Tiffany Fallon: A Playboy centerfold, so since Mrs. Tuned In and my female editors read this blog, I'm gonna say I've never heard of her either.

Jennie Finch: Women's softball pitcher. Madam, you are no Nadia Comaneci.

Nely Galan: 1. Produced The Swan. 2. That's right, produced. 3. Does not even have a Wikipedia page. [Update: Not even en espanol.]

Marilu Henner: Major celebrity. I will brook no disagreement!

Lennox Lewis: Um, more famous than Jennie Finch?

Piers Morgan: Judged America's Got Talent. Slightly more famous than Nely Galan.

Omarosa: Formerly of Not-Celebrity Apprentice.

Tito Ortiz: Please God, let there be an Ultimate Fighting component to this show.

Vincent Pastore: Apparently too famous for Dancing with the Stars. Exactly famous enough for Celebrity Fit Club 4.

Gene Simmons: Daddy needs a new set of family jewels.

  • Print
  • Comment
Comments (4)
Post a Comment »
  • 1

    So funny I recently was noting the return of the Baldwins, but this isn't quite the caliber of programming I meant.

    And although most folks credentials are sketchy I don't think being a former contestant counts as being a celebrity, Oma-whatever....

    For notes on the Baldwins:
    http://procrastinationchronicles.com/2007/10/15/the-baldwins-are-back/

  • 2

    Is Charisma Carpenter not going to be on the Celebrity Apprentice? I had heard that she was on the list at some point. . . I haven't watched since season 1, but I'd certainly tune back in to see her!

  • 3

    good to have you back, and in such fine form!

    The fact is that Dancing With the Stars is no longer the exclusive province of has-beens and never wases. People like Jane Seymour and Wayne Newton may not be cover of People magazine grade celebs, but they're not desperate for exposure -- and I think that DWTS is going to wind up with almost no D-listers next season -- unlike most of these celebrity shows, the idea is to prevent the humiliation of the contestants, and in fact it looks like a lot of fun.

    In fact, I'll guarantee that DWTS has bigger stars and fewer unknowns next season. I mean, no celebrity in their right mind who was looking for exposure would do the Trump show unless they'd been turned down by DWTS, and the Donald got people that would have been the "name" celebs on DWTS in its first couple of seasons.

  • 4

    Omarosa still looks like a wildebeast in the face but cosmetic surgery and exercise has done wonders for her figure! Wow!

Add Your Comment:

You must be logged in to post a comment.
Tuned In Daily E-mail

Get e-mail updates from TIME's Tuned In in your inbox and never miss a day.

Quotes of the Day »

ROB STRINGER, chairman of Sony's Columbia Epic, on an unprecedented seven-year deal with Michael Jackson's estate that is estimated to be worth more than $200 million