Corporate Press Release Theater: Pack Your Penknives and Go

Who among us does not have fond memories of American Juniors, Fox's effort to make a kiddie version of American Idol? Oh, you don't? And you? And you? Well, you may want to skip this one, then:

NEW YORK - June 10, 2008 - Bravo announced today the development of its new creative competition series "Top Chef Junior" (working title) and [reference to other new series redacted]. ...

The love of food reaches all ages and teens today are continually expanding their culinary knowledge ˆ from cooking classes to kids' cookbooks. "Top Chef Junior," which will be based on the Emmy-nominated hit culinary series "Top Chef," is an eight episode series where teens (likely ages 13 to 16) will compete to see if they have what it takes to become a junior "Top Chef." Season-to-date, Bravo's "Top Chef" ranks in the top 15 among kids/teens 2-17 in the Wed 10-11 p.m. time period (at No. 14) versus ad supported cable entertainment networks. Magical Elves ("Top Chef," "Project Runway,") will produce the series, with Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz serving as executive producers.

The possibilities are endless. The Real Housechildren of Orange County! Queer Eye for the Straight Child! Inside the Child Actors' Studio!

In fact—and I sense an Unwanted Programming Advice coming on—perhaps the time has come for a spinoff channel, Bravo Jr. Metrosexual children have been underserved for too long.