Beat Goes On for Osbournes

Fox believes it can make Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne into the next Sonny and Cher. The network announced plans to bring the couple—and the whole Osbourne clan—on board next season as hosts of a new musical-comedy variety hour.

Can That '70s Format be revived? Fox's answer is, essentially: why the hell not? Says Fox reality evil genius Mike Darnell to the New York Times, "Every other genre has been brought back to life in the last ten years. It's been 20 or 25 years since variety shows have really worked, but it had been more than that since a talent show had worked, and now talent shows are all that's on television.”

On the one hand, it's hard to argue with him. On the other hand, his justification kind of includes its own rebuttal. Namely, the variety show has already been revived, and they call it American Idol.

Still and all, there is a logic to saying that the variety show is overdue for a revival somewhere. But I wouldn't pick the Osbournes as the family to do it—simply because they've already been a TV sensation, then faded back into relative obscurity (I mean, I don't think Sharon was ever the big draw keeping America's Got Talent afloat). In other words, they have a feeling of being past their sell-by date.

It's all about execution, I guess, but that makes the job that much harder. When I think of them going for a second collective 15 minutes as song-and-comedy hosts, I don't think Sonny and Cher. I think The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.