Rosie Live: Words Fail Me
I'm not very good with emoticons. Does that symbol above appear to convey, "Eyes wide open in stunned perplexity"? Because that's what I was going for. That's the image that would best convey my response to the disturbing, unfunny, bizarre-but-not-in-an-entertaining-way spectacle that was Rosie Live.
Much as with Knight Rider, another NBC attempt to faithfully re-create an outmoded format from the Big Three network era, Rosie Live made me wonder: Is NBC now being programmed by a team of drunk monkeys wearing a Ben Silverman costume? More charitably: what is Silverman trying to do? The straight-up '70s variety show, like the talking-car drama, is something you can slavishly reproduce, if you want to, if you run a network and they have to give you the money for it. But why?
Rosie Live failed first on simple execution. The patter with guests was forced and the improv moments even worse (at least, I hope that the zillion Rosie's cleavage jokes were not planned). The staging was off, with lurid, deathly lighting that gave the show a creepier vibe than Alec Baldwin's using Rosie's boobs as a microphone had already. And if you're going to haul Jane Krakowski onstage to sing a mortifying medley of product placements, you ought to at least be able to understand the lyrics. (At least the technical problems here might have been solved by taping the show instead of adding the challenge of putting on a live program.)
The guest turns ranged from dull to mind-boggling, like Alanis Morissette wearing what appeared to be Celine Dion's hair and wardrobe, singing a ballad while staring upward with unsettling intensity and standing in front of a karaoke video screen of flying geese. The show combined old-fashioned corniness with a weird self-referentiality (we're doing a variety show, see, and therefore there must be a stage door and a pie-in-the-face joke!). And there were, God help us, dancing cupcakes, in a closing number with all the stage sophistication of Dora the Explorer Live.
Another problem was concept. Like Knight Rider, Rosie Live bought so wholly into the idea of reviving an old format that it actively resisted rethinking it. So you had the careening guest appearance of an old-time stage star (in this case, Liza Minnelli). You had the smorgasbord of entertainment, ranging from R&B to Kathy Griffin (doing a head-scratching Nancy Grace impersonation) to tap dancing to an acrobatic performance that featured Segways and looked like it should star Gob Bluth. You had the skits, like Rosie as a cop talking to a sarcastic little girl—a blatant nod to the Carol Burnett show, where the girl would have been played by Vicki Lawrence and the sketch would have been funny. (Indeed, the show did an amazing job of completely draining the humor from normally funny people like Baldwin, Griffin and Conan O'Brien.)
Watching this special, you could see why variety shows worked as well as they did, when they did, in the pre-cable era. If there were, oh, two or three networks on TV, I could see the appeal of this show. If I watch for half an hour, there just might be something I'll like! Today, it came off as a more amateurish America's Got Talent, and finished last in the ratings for its efforts.
The final problem—and I say this as a big fan of Rosie on her daytime show and at least a medium-sized fan of her on The View—is Rosie. Or really, Rosie's sensibility. There is something about Rosie that does not mesh with the broad primetime TV audience—and no, I don't mean that thing, much as she tried to milk it in the segment bonding with Clay Aiken as a fellow "Gay...briel Byrne fan." I also don't mean her politics, although she opened the show promising not to be political, then immediately gushed over Barack Obama, then threw in some swipes at Bill O'Reilly and Sarah Palin (with the occasional swipe at antagonist Donald Trump for good measure).
No, Rosie is just too Broadway for America. And Broadway people in the entertainment business—people like Rosie who literally appear on Broadway, or simply old-fashioned showbiz types who love a big gala stage show—often fail to understand that Broadway is no longer mainstream American entertainment. Have Rosie or any of her producers checked the ratings for the Tony awards lately? If so, they might have realized that the cumulative audience for Spamalot shout-outs, tap-dancing kids, Liza Minnelli, artsy-circus acts, Harry Connick Jr., Long Island jokes, pie-in-the-face gags and vaudeville bits is, shall we say, limited. Though I'm sure there were a couple octogenarians in Great Neck who loved it.
Does this mean the much vaunted revival of the TV variety show is dead? Maybe not, but it won't come back in this campy form. If Rosie Live wasn't a nail in the coffin of '70s-style variety TV, it was at least a big pie in its face.
-
1
"...And there were, God help us, dancing cupcakes, in a closing number with all the stage sophistication of Dora the Explorer Live..."
.LOL !! JP, this is true. But at least Dora knows to stay in her lane right?
.
and cheers, your choice of emoticon is, well...succinct... -
2
As I noted in the original Rosie thread, this was so bad it managed to compare unfavorably to Howard Cosell's live variety show a couple of decades back (hey, if you can make modern esoteric references like Trip Shakespeare, I'm using old estoric references).
Liza is always good live - like with her mother, 'live' liza always brings with it the chance that she will crash and burn right in front of you.
And you're right about Rosie being "too Broadway" -- although I don't have a problem with dancing kids (if they can actually dance). Rosie's biggests "too Broadway" mistake was in the choice of songs --- I mean, who besides Rosie and Liza remembers The Act (the show from which the opening number "City Lights" came from), and unless you know that Jane Krakowski's number was a takeoff on "You Gotta Have a Gimmick" from Gypsy, the whole striptease at the end of the number is a complete non-sequitor.
-
3
It's official from Rosie. NO MORE SHOWS! She just posted this on her blog:
“there will b no more
no ratings
bad reviewsyet still - a thrill 4 me”
-
4
The reviewer, really? Can't look up the spelling of the names of the people you're writing about?
M-i-n-n-e-l-l-i.
-
5
@minnellioz: Fixed--with "Morissette" thrown in for good measure. Thx.
-
6
Forget Rosie. What about Alanis Morissette? What language was she singing in? I have never heard a more unintelligible, yet pretty, garbling of words in my life. A stuttering stroke victim having a seizure would be more understandable. Was she on something?
-
7
James Poniewozik is a big fat liar. The headline said "Words Fail Me." And then he wen to write and write and write. Don't tease us that and then screw us.
-
8
Perhaps it's not obvious to those in Hollywood (being surrounded by like thinking yes people), but if you go out on stage and launch political attacks that are mean-spirited, they won't be funny...even if it IS the Republicans who are the butt of all your "jokes".
Speaking of that, maybe a glance at the polls and vote totals will tell you that when you vent politic on only one party, you will offend 40% of your viewers who don't share your opinion. You also risk annoying the middle 20% who really could care less about politics after the election and see the attacks as "in your face". Sets a bad tone to have 60% of your audience in the annoyed-hating you category.
If you want to be successful, you had better play to the whole audience, not just the ones who agree with your politics.
-
9
WHAT????? No mention that Rosie can't sing? Wow - that was unbelievable to hear her sour, off key screeching over top Liza and then the plain bad singing through the remainder of the show. Is this part of the dumbing down of america?
-
10
I will admit I saw less than 5 seconds of this show, and ended up watching a rerun of Dirtiest Jobs. But I'd like to comment anyway. It's only entertainment, not rocket science. No lives lost and 172 channels to choose from. We are quict to roast based on a level of newfound slick sophistication of expectation. The real bottom line is "what fodder can I dish out to the masses that will provide the most advertising dollar." Talent is second to sales. I guess that explains why I ended up watching a show that featured a guy cleaning up alligator poop. go figure.
-
11
[...] LINK: Everything is looking “Rosie” for NBC [...]
-
12
I didn't see Rosie's show, Jim, so I can't comment on your witty evisceration of it. I'll take your word for it that the show was horribly executed. But your statement that Broadway is not mainstream is just ridiculous. Many Broadway shows do big business in every major American city, and in other countries as well, and not just among octogenarians. As for your swipe at the Tony Awards, what TV show hasn't lost ratings over the years? Yeah, I guess it's not as popular as American Idol and Dancing with the Stars, which you would therefore consider really hip entertainment. The fact is, you are the one who is not mainstream. Your Celine Dion joke, for example, shows you are a snob who picks on the same people that snobs always pick on. No original thought there. Ever wonder why People magazine has always made many times more money than TIME and why the cash cow People allows you to keep your job? People is mainstream and TIME is not. Hint: People had many Celine covers during her heyday.
-
13
I couldn't care less about Rosie and her show. I didn't watch it. This isn't at all about the merits, or in defense, of her show. I'm just making an observation here about the job of a critic.
Critics are not meant to help improve the genre, show, movie, song or thing they are 'reviewing'. They are merely offering their opinion. I've noticed in the past that critics are often wrong about what is "good" and what ends up being popular. What is critically acclaimed is often boring to the masses and generally ignored. What is critically panned is often just what the masses want.
But the single-most defining trait of critics is their utter lack of consistency among themselves. Some will love something, while others hate it. It's like listening to a family argue about what movie (show, song, etc) they want to experience. The sum total of their contribution to the entire industry is zero.
I read this blog because it was on a newsfeed as a headline - not listed as a blog. Blogs are certainly a valid way of expressing one's self, but it would be nice if opinions are labeled as such in the headline. I am a fully functioning adult and value the opinions of 'regular people' over critics - when I choose to listen to them. But I am also perfectly capable of deciding what I like and don't like on my own.
Critics in general may have some function in the world besides pontificating in an openly self-righteous manner about what they disliked, but I have yet to figure it out.
-
14
Bennie And The Freds--And Liza!...
Time's James Poniewozik pans Rosie Live, which sounds far more like Gray And Dead, but notes:Much as with Knight Rider, another NBC attempt to faithfully re-create an outmoded format from the Big Three network era, Rosie Live made me wonder:......
-
15
Well said, carpevis! Thanks.
-
16
[...] Rosie Live: Words Fail Me I’m not very good with emoticons. Does that symbol above appear to convey, “Eyes wide open in stunned [...] [...]
-
17
[...] LINK: Everything is looking “Rosie” for NBC [...]
-
18
The previews looked so god-awful I didn't wind up watching it, and I'm glad I didn't. I think that Rosie has some very funny and charming qualities, but she's also got an extremely obnoxious and self-absorbed side and this seemed a venue geared toward her obnoxious side.
-
19
No, Rosie is just too Broadway for America.
NOPE...Rosie is too Rosie for Broadway.
As much as I've enjoyed her past shows, that Variety Show has no real connection to Broadway. There is great theatre here in NYC (and many other towns around the world) and amazing performers...this show was just poorly executed. Instead of letting performers (especially the stage veterans) do their thing and shiny, Rosie had to be a part of every act and scene. If middle America thinks this is what Broadway is…they are so wrong!
I would love to have seen Liza, Jane, Clay, Gloria, and Harry perform...and I think the television audience would have responded favorably. I didn't need to hear Rosie, who really can't sing very well, try to make it funny.
Ed Sullivan was a great success because he let the audience enjoy the performances. Can you imagine him trying to join in singing with the Beatles or Ethel Merman? I wish Rosie had done the same here...sit back and be a gracious host and presenter.
-
20
I agree that this was one of the worst hours in the history of TV. Amateurish and self-indulgent. But your comment about it being "too Broadway" is way off. The problem was, it wasn't Broadway enough!
New York is full of brilliant talents who could benefit from a national venue, and there is always an audience for quality. But where we they? Most of the people on that stage were TV personalities or pop stars. The only Broadway personalities were thrown away on terrible material.
Worst of all was Rosie herself. Why doesn't someone tell that cow to stop screaming? The live audience must have lost half their hearing in that hour.
All in all, a wasted opportunity.
-
21
Many people can share the blame for this waste of an hour--high on my list are two people--Rosie for allowing her ego to run the show and Ben Silverman for allowing his ego to let her. The show can be picked apart on many levels--however, one thing is obvious, it was just plain BAD. Somewhere, Ed Sullivan is still rotor tilling in his grave. What could have been an interesting, entertaining hour, has instead, torpedoed the variety show into circling the drain and going down faster than the Titanic. Thanks Rosie. Thank you Mr. Silverman--your sterling record just keeps going......vaya con dios variety shows. Sorry Ed.
-
22
[...] he means the producers plan to up the stagey musical-numbers quotient—and we've all seen how well big musical-theater-numbers go over on [...]
-
23
Aidan - knight rider rocks...
I like this show Knight Rider but my Directv is down. Where can I watch Knight Rider 2008 online, someone suggest me iWatchKnightRider .com...
- poniewozik Loved the season. Mrs Tuned In wd have put u on the main list RT @boredtodeath Thank u for incl us in Time's Top 10. We'll take hon mention. - 3 hours ago
- poniewozik @carr2n Virgin is the best, LAX-JFK - 4 hours ago
- poniewozik Did NPR interview abt multiscreen multitasking. After, automatically reached for iPhone in pocket. Like don draper wd have for cigarettes. - 5 hours ago
Most Popular »
- Best of the Decade: Sci-Fi Movies
- "How Will Dave Ever Make Fun of Sex Scandals Again?"
- CNN Poll: Man Made Global Warming Takes a Hit
- Is Harry Reid Burning Out?
- How Will Obama Pay For Stimulus 2.1? (or 3.0, 3.1, whatever you want to call it)
- Why Wells Fargo isn't paying back TARP
- War of the Supermen: Q&A With Matt Idelson
- The Health Reform Abortion Wars, Part Deux
- Economists Growing More Wary of the Senate Health Bill
- Quinnipiac: Obama Gets Bump on Afghanistan
- The Truth Behind the Leaked Climate-Change E-Mails
- Mexico Witness Protection: Corrupt Program, New Killings
- Tiger Woods Must Face His Fans' Moral Outrage
- Helicopter Parents: The Backlash Against Overparenting
- Taiwan: World's Lowest Birthrate Could Affect Society
- Creating Jobs: Can Obama Government Boost Employment?
- How Strong Is the Evidence Against Amanda Knox?
- U.S. Doesn't Know Where bin Laden Is; Time to Let Go
- Suspect Headley: Pakistani Terrorist Group Going Global?
- Humanure: Goodbye, Toilets. Hello, Extreme Composting
Quotes of the Day »
RSS