The Morning After: Why Do Tools Fall in Love?

Ratings are high this season because we're unemployed and have nothing better to do but watch reality television--the only place where I can still find such a sad bunch, especially desperate women who remind me how important it is to have some self-respect. Also, this show is so scripted. I predicted this outcome two weeks ago. Next season, I bet they throw in some Indian flavor to ride on the slumdog's coattails. Mark my words, an Indian contestant who goes on The Bachelor/Bacheloretter despite his/her parent's wish for an arranged marriage. Good television.

Umm...greatest ending ever. I'm a straight man who for whatever reason cannot stop watching this show. And boy, oh boy am I glad I stayed for this one. Every season we go through the motions and we all know deep down that it's probably NOT going to work out between the "engaged" couple. Normally we get the news a year later in some kind of AP article with 3 sentences about the breakup. So we are all waiting for the train wreck to happen with the cameras rolling so we can all stare and drool. This outcome was a producer's wet dream.

Let's get this out of the way first: Melissa knew the relationship was over before walking onto that set (and was probably obligated by some kind of contract) to appear on the after the final rose. Jason certainly deserves the D*ck Cheney of the Year award for using the show to dool out the "it's not you, it's me" (or it's molly) line. But looking at ol' Jason in this new light and the "aww shucks, I'm just trying to find a good woman for me and my son" -- he is probably the most gullible person in the world and the ABC producers took advantage.

Molly's reaction to the revelation that Jason is a free man is priceless. You cannot script anything better with her looking to host Chris for some kind of reality check or perhaps trying to figure out if that is Howie Mandel dressed as Chris Harrison...oh, wrong network.

ABC tried to manufacture drama by bringing DeAnna back, which fizzled mostly due to poor editing but probably because they edited it when they know Jason was going to bring the drama free of charge, so they simply hit the jackpot with Jason. It is sad for Melissa, but guess what? Every year someone who thinks they are in love gets shown the door. This year we got 2 for the price of 1.

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