Jon & Kate Plus 8, Divided By Two
Jon and Kate, in a publicity still from happier times. / TLC
"And they all lived together in a little crooked house."
Not anymore. Not all at the same time, anyway. On the much-awaited Big Announcement episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin broke the news: "Kate and I have decided to separate." News that, a title card revealed at the end, was already dated, as the pair filed to end their marriage today. (But they're not ending the show! Let's not get crazy here!)
But before we came to that news, the show again juxtaposed a jarringly cheery story of family good times and product placement, as the Gosselin kids were the lucky recipients of "crooked houses," which one would think must have been manufactured by the Acme Unfortunately Metaphorically Named Toys Company.
As in the first episode of the fifth season, the splicing together of the good times with kids and the soft-focus confessional was awkward at best. And yet, when I think about it, it's also oddly appropriate. The show is essentially having us experience Jon & Kate's divorce announcement like we were small children in a family. There are the large stretches of mom and dad putting on a happy facade to keep up appearances for us. And then there's the serious talk about their decision—one that, however, was deliberately vague on why exactly it is that Mommy and Daddy are no longer going to be living together. (For that, you gotta read the tabs.)
Jon and Kate's split confessionals were characteristic of each: his, reticent and uncomfortable; hers, more articulate if platitude-filled, with many pages turned and new chapters opened. (Jon again seemed to lack all sense of irony regarding his own complaints about fame, given that he signed up for a reality show: "It's a shame that our society has come to that. We have soldiers over in Iraq dying for our country, and all these people care about is what I eat for lunch.") They each emphasized that didn't hate the other; that they'd take turns staying in the house with the kids on a schedule; and that the show, somehow, would go on.
About which: Kate made the point (and TLC made the point of including it) that the show itself did not destroy their marriage. Well, did it? I don't know, and what's more, you don't either. Maybe the pressures of the spotlight exacerbated an already problematic relationship, drove them apart and gave them too much, too soon, to handle. Then again, maybe focusing on their common "job" and the need to provide for the kids through it kept them together longer, despite their obvious problems, than they would have. It's not, after all, as if raising eight kids without the financial cushion of a hit show would have been stress-free.
But again, let's not pretend we know. It's nearly impossible to know the secret heart of a marriage that hasn't turned into a professional media presentation, much less this one. I can only judge the show that it's produced. And it's one that's become increasingly excruciating to watch, a situation I can't imagine the new arrangement improving.
The thing is, I wouldn't mind seeing a show about a couple maturely raising their kids while dealing with divorce. (Even scripted TV has done this only rarely, on shows like Once and Again.) But I think Jon & Kate is well past the point where it can be that show. Instead, the Gosselins seemed to be describing a situation where they would soldier on with their "job," for the good of the kids—and you, the viewer, had better too, no matter how ghastly it becomes, because the family income of eight adorable and innocent kids is hanging on it.
One assumes this future show will have Jon and Kate interacting with the kids mostly separately. (Next week TLC is airing a "retrospective," promising a peek at "what's ahead," and one imagines network execs scrambling to figure out just what the hell that future can be, exactly, for their cash cow.) At I would hope they are mostly separate, if the final scene of the episode was any indication. Getting together for a fancy Mother's Day brunch, Jon & Kate seemed to be attending a funeral, shepherding the kids to and from the black car in the rain, while Jon grimaced like a man being led to the guillotine and Kate focused intensely on the meal logistics.
Well, that's sucking it up for the kids, and reality stars or no, I can't knock Jon & Kate for doing that. And as much as I feel badly for the kids, I'm not comfortable jumping to the easy judgment that they need to end the show "for the kids' sake." Maybe they should; maybe they shouldn't. But I'm a TV critic, not a parenting critic, and I'm not going to claim I know what's best for eight children I've never met simply because I've watched them on a heavily edited TV show.
No, there are plenty of reasons not to watch this show besides the good of the children. It's just become too creepily uncomfortable. (And, as Maureen Ryan notes, too sickeningly commercial.) Jon and Kate may decide to keep the family business going "for the kids," or for whatever other motivation. But I suspect that after this ratings bump, the audience will quickly drop again. Because for the viewer at home, one thing is true about reality-TV divorce: there's no point staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy.
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1
I will be the 1st to say that I haven't watched many episodes. But I think they should at least attempt counseling before they file for divorce. To say the t.v. show didn't break them up is hogwash. Do you think Jon would be so quick to leave Kate if they didn't make millions from the t.v. show? Child support for 8 kids would make him at least try to work it out. After 10 yrs you would think they would have wanted to work things out not for the sake of their kids, but for the love they have shared for the last 10 years.
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2
I enjoyed the earlier seasons of this series but will no longer watch.
Two things that saddened and surprised me...
No mention of counseling by the couple, the show, or the press. One hopes that the Gosselins sought counseling before making the decision to divorce, or that a judge will order counseling be attempted before before granting the decree.
A fifth season when the fourth ended with Gosselins saying they were not sure they would, and after the estrangement became obvious. Surely their TV contract had a clause allowing the family to opt out in extremes--serious illness, death, house fire, etc.
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3
Now that Jon & Kate are divorcing, what can you do to help them? Check out: JonandKatePrayers.com
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4
Sorry to say that I have never seen a single episode of this show. Should I be embarrassed if I have never even heard of this show until a month or so ago, when I think there was some foreshadowing of Jon and Kate's pending marriage troubles, and this started making "news"?
Oh, well.
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5
[...] we have here is a couple married for 10 years, with eight children, sextuplets and twins. Now they’re getting divorced. And apparently, it’s everybody’s business, because they live their lives on a [...]
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6
@James
I am glad you brought up the comment Jon made about soldiers dying in Iraq. Every time a "celebrity" says that it really gets to me. It's a cheap shot at the people who are responsible for his income. He must not understand that the higher the show's ratings the more money he gets per episode. And I am guessing that the people who follow them in the tabloids are the same people who normally watch the show. So I hope those people stop watching the show ASAP so airing the rest of the episodes won't make financial sense for TLC.
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Although, maybe their marriage's problems began when they signed up for the show. Maybe he didn't want to do the show at first. But I have a hard time believing that when you consider the money it have brought the family.
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I don't get how anyone could watch this show on a regular basis. All Jon and Kate ever say is how they are doing this "for the kids." When I am sure that out of the eight of the kids, not all of them want to have "strange men with cameras" following them around all day. Yeah, they are financially secure but money isn't everything. -
7
Jon has been the primary caregiver for a long time. Just because he is a father doesn't mean that he can't have custody of the kids andKate will pay him child support.
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8
Those kids are probably old enough to play World of Warcraft. Spinoff series!
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9
I have really loved this show! When they came out with the show that revealed the tabloids activity, I couldn't have been more shocked, and saddened. The tabloids are junk, and don't care about how they hurt others lives. I hate them, and don't give them much credence, or respect.
Can anyone really say they wouldn't do the same as Jon & Kate, in accepting a show to reveal the wonder of raising sextuplets, plus a set of twins. Of course financial issues would inspire you to do so. It has been a wonderful show, although I can't imagine how hard it would be to have cameramen in your home constantly.
Divorce happens because people are selfish. They think of their own needs, more than the other person. Thinking of only the kids doesn't make marriages work, either. Respect, devotion, and faithfulness makes marriages work! Been there...done that!! -
10
Utter fail.
*
You make a deal with the Devil you play his tune. Of course the TV show killed the marriage. It's killed everything. Now I just wish these people would go away. Forever. -
11
I've watched this show from the beginning, and as much as I wish I could NOT watch now that it's starting to make me feel dirty, I'm too morbidly curious to turn away. I used to love the chaos aspect of it, and some of my favorite shows were the ones that simply focused on what it would be like, for instance, to do laundry for 8 kids. Now, I agree with Mo Ryan that it's like one big ad and is not very interesting. What WOULD be interesting is if the show went back to its roots. The children are getting old enough that it's becoming less of a challenge day-to-day. But take away a parent and suddenly it DOES become more of a challenge. Unfortunately, the one episode that seemed to focus on that this season--the birthday party episode--lacked punch because Kate helpfully had some PAs (interns? whoever those guys were) helping her set up the party. One of the biggest changes this season, I think, is that they've been more willing to acknowledge the fact that they're on a show--you hear the producer asking questions, etc.
THANK YOU for mentioning that none of us will ever really know what happened with this marriage (although it is hard not to speculate, isn't it?). I think it's interesting that Kate has been vilified in the press, while Jon is the one who has basically stated on the show that being a stay-at-home dad is what has led him to be so unhappy. I can't summon that much sympathy for someone who is making all their money through their kids. But I guess the media loves a "crazy bitch" more than they love a guy who just can't stand "women's work."
In the end, I suppose it doesn't matter if we all keep watching or not. They've reached 100 shows, and can now live off the syndication rights that are sure to follow.
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12
Such a sad story for those poor exploited children. Couldn't anyone see it coming? Cameras constantly in your face and in your business. Kate is such a control freak - and downright mean and bitchy to John. On the other hand, John seems like a wimp who, instead of facing his problems in a straightforward way, does what so many men do - runs to jump in bed with someone else. Too bad the pretty, unusual name "Deanna" will now be remembered as a home wrecking tramp. Too bad that when marriages hit a rocky road that other people don't just stay out of it and honor the marriage and the children of the marriage. Too many totally selfish people who are more interested in their momentary pleasure, or a tawdry headline than in preserving marriage and assuring the well being of the children of the marriage. Tabloids, "other" women (other men? - no actual pictures of Kate slipping off with the bodyguard, unlike the many photos of John with his tramp - how many times have wives - or husbands - heard the ole "just friends" - Kinda like "it's not what you think), etc. I can see why a family with so many children to feed and care for would be attracted to the financial benefits of a TV show, but it seems to have been the demise of their family. Seems like they didn't have a chance. Poor, poor kids.
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13
Since my wife watches these shows, they spill over to me from time to time. Last night Kate had a birthday party and pointed out the photographers in the bushes. "Yes, they are following us now, ugh" was the sentiment from Kate.
This morning Meredith from the Today show interviews the senior editor of People magazine. They talk about the divorce and within the story mention how the pressure of the show and paparazzi have paid their toll. So why didn't Meredith ask People:
"Were those your camera men in the bushes?"
"Have you ever paid for pictures from one of these sources??"
"Do you feel you and your magazine have contributed to the stress of their lives and ultimate divorce?"
When are people going to stop paying for the destruction of other people's lives labeled as "entertainment".
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14
@Dave: Jon & Kate & The Guild?
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15
I thought the show last night was very boring. It won't last another season. When you notice what type of music is playing in the background instead of focusing on the screen ie: kids playing in the crooked houses; you know it's the beginning of the end. I have watched this show since it began and I told my daughter in the beginning that Kate would look back and see herself and wonder why did I act like that!!!! I really am sorry for these kids. I know I am also guilty of self indulgence with this show. But after last night I doubt I will watch again unless there is nothing else on.
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16
My wife follows this show much more than I do (last night's episode was the first I watched from start to finish, ever).
What strikes me are two things (some of which has already been said):
1) There was no mention at all of any attempt to reconcile or to work on their marriage. Marriage takes effort, let alone with 8 kids and videographers in your face 24/7. We probably won't know the whole story, but if they just decided to separate and file papers for divorce without any attempt at working through their problems, then THEY are copping out.2) Kate said this a few times last night "It's all about the kids." No, it's not! The most important relationship in any family is the relationship between the husband and wife! THEIR relationship is the top priority in that household! When a husband and wife have a solid marriage, they form a solid bond that teaches their children so many more lessons than playing games or ABC's. A solid marriage leaves a positive legacy beyond anyone's imagination. Instead, now they are a broken family, and it's only a matter of time before the parents and the kids will start playing one against the other, now matter how pure their intentions were in their interviews last night.
I pray for those kids ... their lives are going to be thrown into a maelstrom without a solid mom & dad being together. I only hope that these two very young and naive parents realize they are making a big mistake, and should do everything they can to attempt to work through their difficulties, confront any improprieties they may have committed against one another, and seek professional help in working through their issues.
Til death should you part!
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17
stevetinfc - I couldn't have said point #2 better. Too many families in our society adjust their life priorities to where kids are #1 and the husband wife relationship is #2 once a child enters the picture. This is completely wrong and I am sure the source of over 50% of why relationships fail in families. I cringed every time I heard Jon or Kate say "the kids are all I care about" or "I don't care about anything else excpet my kids", and this was from 2 or 3 seasons ago when everything was lovely. What about your marriage?!? Like you said, set an example and your kids will follow. So sad.
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18
In early episodes there was mention that Jon and Kate were the couple to be envied by friends. Everyone knew that Jon & Kate were "the match". Its sad to see this couple divided? I think at this point, publicity has added further insult to the injury and tainted the episode so much with the unneccesary DRAMA. Yes its reality tv but any relationship that has gone awry (especially with children involved) is downright depressing news. As we invite Jon & Kate into our homes, I cant help but to think that WE are invading their privacy. I am releived that there is a break in the episodes airing. Let's honor and respect this deserved break.
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19
It's sad, now it needs to be called:
Jon OR Kate plus 8!
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20
How can you all sit there and say all that about Kate. I have watch this show form episode one. She has never done anything to deserve your judgment. Kate is the one who took care of those kids form day 1. SHE bathed then, clothed them, fed them. She has done Everything for her children. JON AND KATE decided to do the show together soy they could afford to pay for everything those kids need, food clothing, diapers, cars, a roof over there heads, college etc...... Multiply one kid for eight. You do the math. Tell me would be better if they didn't do the show so their kids could have none of that. And if anything it's the paparazzi and tabloids that are making this traumatizing for the kids. JON and Kate have both made mistakes. They have 8 kids, she's not the one whose running, he is. He is the one that's cheating on his wife and kids. Kate said that HIS recent actions have caused her to file for divorce. Jon has always acted like a kid, of course she's bossy, she's the married single mom of nine. Try being the single parent of one, EVERITHING is a worry, from what they eat to every moment they are away from you. Multiply that by 8. And Jon needs to grow some b**ls and stop acting like some single 25 year old party boy. Maybe if he helps more, she wouldn't need to be so bossy.
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21
i'm one of the 10 million viewers i love your kids. You are a cute coupple . The T.V show it's not important for you, you don't need to be on T.V so your kids will see the show and say " yey we're on T.V "and when they grow up they can't live their own life because people will stop them talk to them if they'll have a babya hwole world will know.....why won't you a video camera and record by your self. You don'twanty to be proffesional to take a video .DON DEVORCE youre a cute couple -XXXXXXXXX. but kate don't be too bossy
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22
what about the kids ? do you think about the kids .@ school everyone starts to say about their family and they don't have anythink to say just "my mom and dad are SEPERATE " they might not be paying attention in lessons because of this. 5 year old sextuplets and 8 year old twins their mom and dad are seperate they need you both together especially in this difficult time and they want their mommy and daddy together but they are going to seperate
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23
I am a wife and mother who has survived the loss of a child who was killed due to a backover accident. A backover accident is a death usually accidentally committed by a loving family member. Statistics show that 90 % of parents that loose a child, divorce. My husband and I made a commitment in the hospital emergency room the night my son was pronounced dead that we would not let this tear our family apart. It has been 5 hard years.. but we are still together! We realize that our relationship and commitment to love one another is the one and only thing we can do for our surviornvg children. For them to see mom and dad work through "Great" problems is what they need. My husband and I come first... then our children. It is dealing with our own issues and loving each other that is the most precious gift to our children. Jon said the house was the kids.... what is a house without loving parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My challenge for Jon and Kate... don't give in... you can overcome this challenge.. Your love for one another will be the best gift for "plus 8"...
It has been such a hard road for the both of you... you are both such wonderful parents.. work through the hard spots to make the great family that I know you are!Love,
Julie Peck
http://www.jspfoundation.com
http://www.jspfoundation.blogspot.com
- poniewozik Loved the season. Mrs Tuned In wd have put u on the main list RT @boredtodeath Thank u for incl us in Time's Top 10. We'll take hon mention. - 4 hours ago
- poniewozik @carr2n Virgin is the best, LAX-JFK - 5 hours ago
- poniewozik Did NPR interview abt multiscreen multitasking. After, automatically reached for iPhone in pocket. Like don draper wd have for cigarettes. - 6 hours ago
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